QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT
ME!
Can you
cry under water?
How
important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated
instead of just murdered?
Why do
you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your
thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once
you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for
eternity?
Why does
a round pizza come in a square box?
What
disease did cured ham actually have?
How is
it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to
put wheels on luggage?
Why is it
that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two
hours?
Why are
you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do
people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at
things on the ground?
Why do
doctors leave the room while you change?
They're
going to see you naked anyway.
Why is
'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do
toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which
no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy
cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?
If the
professor on Gilligan's
fix a hole in a boat?
Why does
Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're
both dogs!
If Wile
E.. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy
dinner?
If corn
oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby
oil made from?
If
electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?
Do the
Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
Why did
you just try singing the two songs above?
Did you
ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you
take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why,
Why, Why
Why
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going
dead?
Why
do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough
money?
Why
does someone
believe
you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint
is wet?
Why
doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why
does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver
at him?
Why
do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose
idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
If
people evolved from apes,
why
are there still apes?
Why
is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always
white?
Is
there ever a day that mattresses
are
not on sale?
Why
do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to
eat will have materialized?
Why
do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner,
then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one
more chance?
Why
is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first
try?
How
do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light
fixtures?
When
we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then
apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all
right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're
going?'
Why
is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table
you always manage to knock something else over?
In
winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we
complained about the heat?
How
come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And
my FAVORITE......
The
statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from
some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're
okay, then it's you.
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